Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. In article <12@gitpyr.UUCP> gra@gitpyr.UUCP (Mark W Fouraker) writes: Paddy Chayevsky's "The Tenth Man" contains several curses on daughters-in-law. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information A: Lo-fat. A: Jaques Cousteau. Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. , The Question: What do you call a Methodist who is not afraid of water? Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. Box 4, Folder 47. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. A: Plumber's helper. The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . A: 13 Queens Boulevard. Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. 2006 | CC. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? A: Old wive's tale. A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune A: Bedbug. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. A: Zippo Marx. May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. Our Story; Our Chefs https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! us? Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. Q: How many football games were televised over Hand made. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and A: Old wives tale. Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? , The Question: Name Nancy Pelosis favorite flavored fruit drink. Or are you just happy to see me? I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? ", Robert Bickford (r@well.uucp)================================================| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. . , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. . QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC A: Beethoven's Fifth. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. Carson Caucas 1984. The character was introduced in 1964. A: Eleven. Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? shorts. A: Fun with Dick and Jane. A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. (Jews never kneel in prayer.). A: Buddy Holly. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. . A: Last Tango in Paris. A: Gatorade. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? It is original material for the most part. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. A: An unmarried woman. Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. be sending Georgia soon? A: "Coming home." Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling A: Madame Kitty. A: Gunga din. Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas A: Evon Guligan. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. pre built n scale train layouts. May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. A: De-frost. Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! A: Roots. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. "You Light Up My Life.". Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Feel free to laugh, but beware! car? Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. The one that had McMahon and Carson nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was Sis boom bah. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. A: Bambi, the White House grounds and the new TV season. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. bathroom? May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your . The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? A: Head and shoulders. ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. Story. $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. Get Image Page 1 of 4 May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. Q: Name three people who like to bomb. A: Baja. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. Q: What do you call not getting busted? What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? A: Never on Sunday. The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your compartment in your sister. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. . A: 60 Minutes. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. juice? In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. Carson . Key'n'Stroke. A: Green thumb. A: Cyclone. The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! a #2 mayonnaise CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. What is missing here is his delivery. My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? Clarnac: This crowd was applaud for a train wreck. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! Inning. After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens.
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